Today, Ali and JoDee are joined by former teacher turned coach and facilitator, Stephanie Simpson. Together, they will discuss the main difference between coaching and therapy, the importance of confidence in moving forward, and different ways people and schools can support teachers.
Connect with Stephanie
Website: http://www.stephanie-simpson.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephaniesimpsoncoaching/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StephanieSimpsonCoaching/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephaniesimpsoncoaching/
Connect with Ali and JoDee:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teachershift
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/teachershift
Teacher Shift LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/teacher-shift
Ali’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alisimon/
JoDee’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodeescissors/
Website
https://www.teachershiftpodcast.com/
Episode Transcriptions
https://www.teachershiftpodcast.com/blog
Today, Ali and JoDee are joined by former teacher turned coach and facilitator, Stephanie Simpson. Together, they will discuss the main difference between coaching and therapy, the importance of confidence in moving forward, and different ways people and schools can support teachers.
Connect with Stephanie
Website: http://www.stephanie-simpson.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephaniesimpsoncoaching/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StephanieSimpsonCoaching/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephaniesimpsoncoaching/
Connect with Ali and JoDee:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teachershift
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/teachershift
Teacher Shift LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/teacher-shift
Ali’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alisimon/
JoDee’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodeescissors/
Website
https://www.teachershiftpodcast.com/
Episode Transcriptions
https://www.teachershiftpodcast.com/blog
Ali 0:06
Teachers are natural innovators, entertainers and problem solvers. They dream of growing old into the profession, teaching their kids kids. But sometimes career goals shift, and that makes opportunities outside of the classroom seem intangible questioning, who am I, if I'm not a teacher? I'm your host, Ali Simon.
JoDee 0:27
And I'm your co host, JoDee Scissors.
Ali 0:32
And this is Teacher Shift.
JoDee 0:43
Teachers are always making plans: Lesson plans, behavior plans, individualized academic plans. But what about plans for themselves? Our guest today reminds us why teachers need to prioritize their own needs, and sometimes put themselves first.
Ali 1:01
Stephanie Simpson is an artist, coach, facilitator and speaker. Drawing on her background and movement, meditation, trauma and psychology, she partners with people, businesses and organizations to achieve their greatest potential by nurturing the connection between the mind, body, and spirit. Welcome to the show today, Stephanie.
Stephanie 1:23
Thank you. I'm very excited to be here.
JoDee 1:26
This is the second time I've seen Stephanie in the last few weeks because I did a little consultation with her a few weeks ago. But I wanted to give our listeners a little bit of back story of why you're here today, or how we got here on the podcast. And so many of our listeners know that Ali and I went to South By last year. And that is where I met you. I actually signed up for one of your mentoring coaching sessions, because I was seeking business advice. I have my own company and Ali and I have built Teacher Shift. And so you know, as you learn and grow, and you you fine tune some skills, you're ready to grow in other areas. And so I met with her seeking advice for how to grow our business. And then once we discovered, we're both former teachers, and we had just kind of this alignment about the state of education right now. Teacher retention rates. We just really connected pretty deeply on those topics and felt like the conversation could go longer than what we had a lot in our mentor session. So I'm glad you can be here. And that we just happen to serendipitously get matched up. I guess it wasn't. I selected you, like I have read everybody's profile. And I was like, oh, I want to go to her session. So glad you can be here.
Stephanie 2:49
I appreciate that, too.
JoDee 2:50
You know, something that people should know about what Stephanie does is she she really does. She helps people, guide them, their businesses to get, you know, meet their clear goals, or redefine what their purpose might be. And I think that there's a lot of teachers right now who are trying to figure out a clearer path. And they don't necessarily have all the tools, or resources or guidance to do that. Ali and I both struggled with, who do I go to? Who do I reach out to? And it's good to know that you have coaching services, and you have these abilities and this knowledge to be able to provide that clear path for them and to reach their goals. So can you tell me a little bit about how do you get people to where they want to be?
Stephanie 3:42
That's a great question. And the word that just kept coming up, as you were speaking was like this transition, right. And with transition, there's a lot of uncertainty. And yet, if we approach transition with this, like openness and curiosity, there's actually a lot of like gems, like hidden gems in there. So whenever I'm working with somebody, I always start so I'm a certified professional coach. And the program I went through, which I am very clear on what types of programs I wanted to go through, certified us also in a framework and an assessment that that is matched with that framework. And what I love about this framework is it takes some of these like intangible things that we are always feeling but definitely through transition of like, well, you know, I have these emotions, or I have these thoughts, or I'm noticing these actions and behaviors. And sometimes we're not able to articulate it. It's all stuck in the head and the body. And this framework gives people like a tangible way to go, Okay, let me assess where I'm at right now. Like if I had a thought that's reoccurring, what is that? And where did that fit in the seven different levels? Or, you know, I'm feeling this emotion or this sensation a lot. Where does that fit? And really, that's one of the first things to do is to basically just acknowledge and validate where you're at and get clear where you're at, so that we can then work to go forward. So I always start with people using that framework. The assessment really is a wonderful way to mirror like where their strengths are right now, and where there may be opportunities for growth and development. And then if we enter into a coaching relationship, that becomes the foundation and this shared language that we have with each other. And a tool that they can come back to all the time, as they're continuing to map out, you know, their direction. From there, I always start with, like, what's important to you, like, what lights you up? You know, a lot of the times the things that brought us into teaching, those are the same things that can help us to transition to whatever it is that we're going to, right? So when I started my own business, like it is just actually an extension of who I am, and was, as a teacher. I just got really clear as to like, what drew me to teaching. What did I love about teaching. And for me, it was, you know, creating this space where students felt safe to be able to explore things. And so I was teaching, dance and theater full time, and some psychology like classes. And I wanted them to feel safe to explore what was going on internally, and then be able to share that through their bodies, through their words, and all of that sort of stuff. And then the creative process, right? I love being able to partner with people and go through that process, even when it's really muddy and gross. And like, I always think about like the lotus flower, right? Like the lotus flower comes from mud. So like when we're in the ickiness in the mud? Like, how can we be okay with that and work through it so that this flower can bloom. And when I was really thinking about that, I was like, Well, how does that translate to some of the things I'm curious about? And some of the things I want to do from here? So when specifically working with teachers, I always start there, right? Like, what brought you to this? What lights you up? And then what are you curious about right? And how can we explore that and play with that?
Ali 6:59
I love the way that you explained that you have, like a methodology that you're using to work with your clients. But it got me thinking, how does working with a coach like yourself differ from working with a therapist, for example?
Stephanie 7:14
That's a great question. And it's actually the first thing I talked about in... I do these like discovery calls beforehand. Because I'm not the best fit for everybody. Not everybody is the best fit for me. And that's totally fine. And so I do these three discovery calls where I talked about the forms of help spectrum. And one of the things I think is really important for all of us to know is what type of help is the thing that we need in that moment? And how can we advocate for that. And one of the things we talked about is the difference between mentoring, coaching, teaching, consulting, and therapy slash counseling. So the biggest difference between therapy and coaching, is coaching is about where are you now and where do you want to go. So like your A point, and then your B point. And though we may look at the past, we're doing it through the lens of what did we learn from that? What do we want to bring with us going forward? What are we ready to leave behind? And talking about, like tools on how to do that. So coaching is about growing, where therapy is about healing. So therapy is really talking about, like, what's happening in the past? What are our traumas? What are our stories? All of that. and so many therapists use a lot of coaching skills as a therapist and a counselor. They also have the license to be able to diagnose, you know, depending on their license, they may be able to prescribe things. Whereas, as a certified coach, I am not telling anybody what to do. Like I always say the three truths of coaching is, I believe my client is capable and whole. I believe they have all the answers, right? And so I'm there to ask and not tell. And like, be their... If we're like on a we're on like a road trip of life. Like I'm their copilot, and I'm their mirrors. I'm holding them the map. I'm asking what direction do you want to go. But I'm never telling them. They're always in the driver's seat where a therapist does do some telling at times.
JoDee 9:13
Thanks for putting that into perspective, the growing versus healing. That just really clicked with me. And everything that you're saying doesn't sound too much different from how a teacher executes a plan in general. It's just sometimes we forget to design plans for ourselves. We think about our day. We think about our students. We even have very specific plans for certain behaviors or academic needs that we can just knock out. And Ali and I have talked about this several times. It's just like, how do you get to a point where you stop and put yourself first for a moment, and use those same skills that you know how to do, but apply it to yourself?
Stephanie 10:07
Yeah, you know, and I love that you teacher too. Because when I also do a lot of trainings in educational institutions, as well as non educational institutions on how to be more coach like, in your role. Whether it's an administrator, or a classroom teacher, or department chair. And teacher really is all of those forms of help at different times. The biggest difference is that a teacher is deciding what the goals are, and deciding how they're going to measure those outcomes. Whereas in coaching, the client is the one that's doing that, not me. And to go back to your point around, it's really hard at times when you're teaching to stop and say, What do I need? Because you're so I mean, this is a generalization, but I tend to be pretty correct in this. It's like a lot of people get into teaching because they want to be of service, right? They want to help people grow, you know, all of that sort of stuff. And they sometimes forget that they need that space to in order to do that, effectively. And how are they doing that? Right? So coaching can be a really powerful way where they, they get to have that space, someone else is holding it for them. And they get to reflect and figure out where they want to go next, or how they need to take care of themselves.
JoDee 11:23
Ali, when you were a teacher, did you ever stop and say, What do I need right now? Like, I know I do that right now. I feel very in tune more than ever with my body, and my emotions and triggers. But I really... like I'm thinking back and I'm wondering, was there ever a time in the 13 years that I taught that I stopped and was like, Okay, what do what do I need right now? And I think it's a result of just trying to keep my head above water. Trying to make sure that I am meeting other people's needs, so I'm not failing in my job. But part of being successful in the job is also taking care of yourself.
Ali 12:08
I agree that when I was a teacher, I did not stop to think about myself. In fact, it went even further than that. For me, it took me probably a couple of years after I left teaching... it was actually during COVID, that I realized that like, if I don't take care of myself in this moment, then who is going to take care of my family? Like, if I'm not well, then my whole household like won't be well right? Because you're taking care of other people. It took a lot of self reflection, a lot of time to process that. And I kind of link it back to teaching was my first career. It was my first professional job. I held other jobs, but that, you know, it wasn't like that level. And it's a part of the culture. You know, we put the students first we put the job first. It's just, I don't think it's necessarily innately who we are, although it's probably connected, because you have that heart of a servant, like you were talking about Stephanie. But culturally, you're always focused on the things for the students or the school. And now we might see a little bit of professional development about the teacher. But it's really a reaction to what's been happening and not something that was proactive, which we could have used that for years.
Stephanie 13:22
I couldn't agree more. And I have always been that teacher adjacent for a long time before I ended up teaching full time in a school system. And my mom, also, she's a retired public school English teacher. So grew up with, you know, feeling it all as she was going through it. And when I started being more ingrained in a system, one of the biggest things around professional development was I came in thinking, Oh, great professional development. We're gonna work on us, you know? And to me, I think professional development is also personal development. They're very much linked. And then I would go to these things. And I was like, Wait a second, you're just telling me more things I need to do? Where is the time to develop myself? And that was like a big like, Aha, for me where I was like, when are we holding space for the teachers? Because we're asking them to do a lot of things. But we're not actually giving them the space and the resources and the time to be able to do that effectively. I got really interested in really, how are we understanding our own systems around stress, and from a physiological level, right. And so, you know, we all have these little bodies around us that were in charge of in the classroom, whether you're elementary to like high school or college. But if we don't know how to like regulate our own systems, we are not going to be able to serve them in a way that is going to help them or us. And I then started creating professional development programs that was putting the teachers in the center and being like, how are we helping them so that they can do the job we're asking them to do more successfully?
Ali 14:59
And we know that teaching is not always your forever career, right? So we have some teachers who might be afraid of a shift or of change. How in your coaching, are you able to empower your clients to live courageously? And to live life to the fullest? How do you get them to not hold back and kind of just put everybody else first? part of it is,
Stephanie 15:24
Part of it is, and it's been coming up a lot right now, in the last like, month or so in all industries, with people trying to, you know, shift jobs and all of that. It comes down to confidence, right. And confidence is always something that we need to build from the inside out. Though, developmentally we are, we build our confidence from the outside in. And so there has to be a shift. So we work a lot around that. And I always say this to all of my clients. And I say this actually, because I work in the tech field, too. I will say to people that are hiring in the tech industry, you should be hiring teachers because they are like... an this is the phrase I use, they are CEOs of their own classroom. And I think we all have had experiences where maybe we've been given some like guidance, but a lot of times it's like, here you go. You're teaching this, go for it. And you have to figure that out. And so teachers, whether you felt like you were good at that from the beginning or not, you have created tools and skills, consciously or unconsciously, that have built resilience for yourself and others. You've learned how to like problem solve. You've learned how to like pivot. The word that everyone loves to use. You've learned how to manage, sometimes upwards of 36 little like other systems in your room. You've learned how to differentiate. You've had to be able to be an expert in something while also understanding how to manage emotional stuff, too. So the emotional intelligence is there. And kind of using those words to let them hear, Oh, yeah, do you have all of those things. And those are all the things that these other jobs that I'm interested in going into, are asking for. And so then it becomes great. So how can we create your story that you feel excited to share your story, when you start connecting with these people. And help them to connect the dots so that at the end of the day, they're like, of course, I'm gonna hire this person.
JoDee 17:22
When you're working with these people? Is it, I mean, you mentioned there that you do professional development. So do you tackle the the issues that you see one to one or school based? Or do you go wide like corporation? I'm just thinking about school systems in itself. Like if we want to support teachers, where do we start? Do we start as individuals? Do administrators cultivate a culture? What's the starting point, I guess?
Stephanie 17:52
To me, it's like a both and situation. And it totally depends on the buy in from people. So at the school that I was teaching full time that while I was there, I also built their internal coaching program. And the intention behind that was let's create a coaching culture for the school. There was like, basically three prongs to it. One was training, originally teachers and staff in how to use coaching skills in the classroom, but also with each other. Right. And so, you know, empowering the department chairs with actual management tools, right. So like, now they're managing adults and things like that. And that's different than managing kids. So here are some coaching skills that you can use as manager, as coach, right? Then we branched out to parents, because this was a private school. And I mean, every school the parents are a part of that ecosystem, in a private school they very much are. And so we started teaching them coaching skills, which then really shifted the dynamic of parent teacher conferences, of how everybody was speaking to the the kids. We've done many workshops with the students. So like, this was a K through 12 school. So for high schoolers that were in leadership positions, we started training them in this too. So now they're getting leadership skills. So that was one part was training. Then we did the smaller workshops, or I would work with departments as a group and taking what they were feeling was some obstacles or challenges that they were working with. And I would use the framework that I'm trained in to work with departments. But then we also had one to one coaching sessions where individuals in the community could get one to one sessions with me, that was sponsored by the school. So that is like the framework that I have, like put together for schools. Now, that's not how I work with every school. Not every school has maybe the resources, time, money, all of that do that. But some of them will be like, Okay, we're gonna bring you in for a day long for professional development. Or we're going to do a workshop. Or we actually we want to just bring you on as a coach that people can go to. And it's like part of their benefits package of like, this is a resource. It's confidential because as an ICF certified coach, I have to be. And so that's how I work with a lot of schools, and similarly to other businesses and organizations as well.
JoDee 20:06
It's good to hear that schools are investing in this type of coaching. Because, you know, every summer when it's back to school, and teachers are at PD. My first thought, every year after after I left teaching was, I wonder what school districts are doing to invest in their teachers? well being. And, you know, creating sustainable work environments. And from what I've heard from my, my most immediate former colleagues, is that it's still not a lot of it's being done. It's kind of like, here are resources that Human Resources has offered, and take them as you please. Whereas when you kind of institute it a little bit more strategically, I'm wondering, that's a little bit more powerful, and there's a greater impact?
Stephanie 20:59
Yeah, I would agree that some places are a little more open to this. Some of them have it as like a higher priority. And just like any industry, some of them are like, oh, we'll bring you in to do this. So we can check this box, right? So there really is the whole spectrum out there. To me, it's, it's an ongoing thing. Like if we want to really shift cultures, it's not just a one time thing. There needs to be a plan. That even if it's like, seems like a small intervention, it's one that we're committing to over time. Because that's where you're gonna see the impact, right? And then what I'm coaching depends on like, the actual, like level of the person. Like if I'm coaching a division pad or principle, we're also looking at, like, what are the systems you have in place right now that are actually creating the burnout and the urgency culture and all of that? And how can we get creative and making little shifts for this? So that's like coaching strategy there. Whereas like, maybe with department chairs, it's like coaching them on like, you're in this new position, how do we build up your confidence to be able to manage, you know, be a more leader manager type? So like, division heads and principals, it's more visioning and strategic, whereas like, I would say, middle management, the department chairs, it's how am I empowering you to be confident in this role. And then teachers, it's like, Okay, how are we navigating what's coming to you? And how are you creating more agency and managing maybe the stress and the overload and all of that. So there's different focuses in the different areas, though, also, always coming to sessions, letting the coach and coachee dictate what it is they want to work on.
JoDee 22:42
I think the key word that you said, in all of that is be creative. If you want to dismantle something, you can't keep doing the same thing over and over. So you have to be a little bit creative. Which kind of brings me to one thing that I wanted to talk to you about. You are an artist. You're a dancer, right?
Stephanie 23:00
Yes.
JoDee 23:00
Yes. So when I left, I craved creativity. Like, I wanted to be in a creative space. I wanted to create, and just like feel alive through creation. And I remember being in an interview and saying that maintenance wasn't for me, like, I'm a creator. I like to build things from the ground up. And when I exited, and I was creating, I started to burn out on the creativity part. I realized how naive I was, that I just can't be creating all the time. I do need some maintenance. And I do need just like like some rote activities. Because it helps me be more creative. It gives me the brain space to maximize that part that I love. Just like gives me all those endorphins. So do you ever find yourself in your transition creating because you are an artist? And how do you use that artistry in your day to day work life?
Stephanie 24:03
So many things in there. So one of the reasons I really wanted to leave teaching full time and build out my company, which I've had for almost 10 years, but it was always like a side thing, was that I was getting really burned out in the position of being an arts teacher and feeling like I was always producing. And I just started noticing that I felt like depleted earlier and earlier and earlier in the school year. And part of it was that I was doing so much of the creative aspects for my students and all that but not filling up my own creative stuff. And at times it, like I could connect them both but other times it felt very different. So I left that to build the business which I consider myself a builder. So like there's creativity in there and for the first year of being in the business full time. I really found the creative aspect actually through like what was I posting on social media and like how was I getting to creative with the things that I was either listening to on podcast or watching or being out in nature and being like, Oh, how can I use this as a way to engage an audience. And then realize that I started getting burnt out on that. And was like, Okay, now I'm gonna find a new way to tap into my creativity. So one of the things I learned for myself was that how on being creative at one point may not be the thing that I'm doing, you know, down the line. And how can I really remind myself to check in with myself to be like, what is it that I'm curious about? Right? So continuously going into curiosity. And so currently, right now, one of the things I'm working on, is writing a sitcom with a partner, which is like, different than the dance portion of it. And, you know, having the brain space for that. But as a dancer, first and foremost, I always have some sort of movement practice. And was able to get back to dancing with people that I danced with, like 15 years ago, and trying to create that way. And it may not be like every day or every week, but making space for those to kind of as you're saying, balance some of the other things that I'm doing.
JoDee 26:07
Well, and you're doing the art of running, preparing for your marathon. Which is like it's like physical and mental. Like how do you prepare both of those things?
Stephanie 26:18
Yeah, no, it's so true. And I've learned so much through running. And I actually, like upon reflection, I realized that when I started running, because I came to running very late in life, was right around the time that I transitioned out of performing as much as I was. And realize that these races that I was signing up for, were the performances that I was doing. And I've learned even more about my mind body connection, the emotional connection. Which the mind body connection, and performance, and peak performance is what I did my first master's thesis in. And so even the work I do with anybody I'm coaching, I'm always coming back to the body. I'm always trying to have them tap into their creativity,because we are all creative beings. It just looks different for all of us.
Ali 27:04
Well, Stephanie, your conversation with us today was really eye opening and reflecting on honestly how far I've come since transitioning out of the classroom and being able to pay attention to what I need. That's something that I've really struggled with when I was in the classroom that I always put, you know, school first, work first, my kids first, my husband first, all those things first, and I was never there. But it's taken me a long time. And I think if I had had a support, like you probably would have come to it a lot quicker. But I think the topics that we share today will really resonate with our audience. And I hope that you know, you'll be able to take something from our conversation today, our listeners. And and focus on yourself. Spend some time thinking about what you need. And maybe that involves movement. Maybe that involves creativity. But really, it's up to what you need. So thank you so much for your time today. We enjoyed having you on the show.
Stephanie 27:58
Thank you for having me. This was great.
Ali 28:00
If you'd like to connect with Stephanie, you can find her on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn at Stephanie Simpson oaching, and on her website, Stephanie-Simpson.com. We'll link all of these in our show notes.
Are you interested in suggesting a topic for Teacher Shift? Being a guest or recommending a guest? Please see the episodes page on our website to make a submission. And if you'd like to write for us, see our blog page. If you liked Teacher Shift, give us a five star rating and follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Apple podcasts, Spotify and Amazon music. Today's episode was written and recorded by me, Ali Simon and my co host, JoDee Scissors. Wxecutive produced by Teacher Shift. Produced and edited by Emily Porter. Original Music: Emoji by Tubebackr.