Emotional Validation When Making a Shift

We’re so excited to be back! We’ve got brand new episodes and a brand new name to go with them. Today, Ali and JoDee dive into the meaning behind Teacher Shift, the importance of emotional validation when making a shift, and how to navigate the different emotions that can occur during these shifts.

Connect with Ali and JoDee:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teachershift
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/teachershift
Teacher Shift LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/teacher-shift
Ali’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alisimon/
JoDee’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodeescissors/

Website
https://www.teachershiftpodcast.com/

Episode Transcriptions
https://www.teachershiftpodcast.com/blog

Transcript

Ali  0:06  
Teachers are natural innovators, entertainers and problem solvers. They dream of growing old into the profession, teaching their kids kids. But sometimes career goals shift, and that makes opportunities outside of the classroom seem intangible questioning. Who am I, if I'm not a teacher? I'm your host Ali Simon.

JoDee  0:29  
And I'm your co host, JoDee Scissors.

Ali  0:32  
And this is Teacher Shift.

Hey, JoDee! We're back. Doesn't it feel so good to be back recording an episode? 

JoDee  0:47  
It does. It's been a while I feel a little bit rusty.

Ali  0:51  
Well, it's been a long summer. I think it'd be like I had an extended summer because one of my kids is back in school. But the other one still hasn't started yet. But how was your summer overall?

JoDee  1:01  
It was good. We had a lot of family time. A lot of juggling.  lot of important decisions that you and I had to make. We didn't see each other a lot on screen recording. But we definitely had a lot of conversations over the phone and texting and planning on our side. So all of that went really well. I'm I'm really happy with my summer. I'm really glad for school to start again though.

Ali  1:28  
Yeah, so we're on different school schedules because I'm in the South and you're in the Northeast. So yeah, one in school, one not in school yet. My summer overall was super busy, just between work and kids and life. But I did get the chance to go on a trip with my husband without our kids for a little bit this summer. So I'd say that's the highlight of my summer, to have a kid free trip. We went to Vegas for the first time. So I don't know, it was just a different experience. 

JoDee  1:58  
I'm so glad to see your pictures. I'm always really happy when people get time with their significant others or spouses without kids around. We're actually going to have a day... Aaron are going to have a day like that on Thursday. Cora has a one night overnight at camp. So that'll be something new for us. We're gonna go see a movie.

Ali  2:19  
That's awesome. We'll enjoy your day date. And in terms of summer, I think we did spend a lot of time behind the scenes that our listeners don't know about getting things ready for what's new with the podcast. So before we jump into our episode, last week we made the big announcement about our rebranding. And listeners, you've all known us as The Great Teacher Resignation, and now we're Teacher Shift. And so that was a really, really big change for us. It's something that's been brewing for a while, and we're so excited to roll it out. And really just get responses from you over the last week. So JoDee, can you share with some of the responses have been like?

JoDee  3:01  
Our response has been really positive. We shared it out to our socials. And we've gotten some really nice DMs and text messages and emails. And I think everybody likes our new look. They understand our thinking behind it, even though we haven't exactly explained it yet. But I think some of our former guests have really been like, yes, you nailed it. So we hope that we can lean into this new phase we have.

Ali  3:29  
Yeah, I think the funniest thing is that on all the different podcast platforms, you know, we changed. And I actually had a family member of mine who who does listen to the podcast regularly reach out to me and be like, did your podcast change? What's going on? Because they're not really on social media. So...So if you're one of those listeners, that's not really on social media, we still love you as much as I love my sister. And we want to hear from you too. So feel free to reach out to us. We have a new email address that goes along with our new website. And so that's another way that you can reach us to get in contact with us.

JoDee  4:04  
Yeah, I had someone send me a note that they like went on to Spotify to listen. And they were like, OMG, like, you guys have a new rebrand. And she said, I noticed you because a lot of the Spotify thumbnails all kind of look the same. She was like, you're just so bright and pretty. And I was like, Yeah, we wanted to be bold. And I really liked our bold new look.

Ali  4:31  
I love our bold new look. I also love bright colors. So I think it just really captures the essence of kind of both of our personalities and where we're going with Teacher Shift, and that this is something new. We're hoping to grow even more than we've already grown with our community with our listeners, and share this new look with you. Keep going on our journey. Talk about these new shifts. When we started the show, you know we started it because the great resignation was going on and we connected greatly over leaving the classroom. We had exited teaching and there was a great teacher resignation that was happening. And we had so many teacher friends that were reaching out to us, especially during the pandemic, to talk to us about how we made our transitions, you know, ask us for advice. And it turned into this podcast. And then we started interviewing people. And we realized that shifts come in all forms. Shifts may look like job exploration, identity, wellness, financial planning, decision making, and really other niche shifts that teachers make, like maybe just your mindset, your flexibility, your extras that you take on in the classroom. And so that's how we ended up coming to Teacher Shift.

JoDee  5:44  
I really liked the direction. I think it leans into what we would do as teachers and differentiate for what people are going through or what they're trying to understand. And as we learned from the last season and a half, that there's not really a one size fits all model.  Something can't just be scripted for everyone. So we want to lean into that.

Ali  6:08  
And we know that shifts don't just happen in the teaching profession. They happen all the time in other professions too. And sometimes these shifts that we make, they can be met with roadblocks, like guilt, shame, fear, or maybe the opposite, it can feel like an opportunity or an opening, a chance to feel liberated, motivated, or to be able to take control of personal challenges. So sometimes we can need a shift. We can maybe want to shift or deserve a shift. But anyway, that it goes, we're here to help you unpack the best strategies for a constructive and positive shift from people who've either been through a shift or who have helped someone in your shoes. 

JoDee  6:50  
I want to talk about today, just when we discuss shifts that teachers need. We hear are pretty common statement through direct messages, emails, even when we're literally interviewing someone is that a lot of people say, or they'll listen to an episode, and they'll say, I feel really validated. And that process of emotional validation, I think, is one of the biggest things that we hear from others. And it's big, because when you are contemplating a shift, or you need some sort of shift, validation helps you understand your identity. It helps you unpack those really tough feelings. And when we don't get validation, when we get the opposite of that, we spiral into these negative behaviors where we question who we are. We question our abilities. And I know that I had like a huge self esteem plummet when it came to that type of identity when I asked who am I, if I'm not a teacher. And I needed a lot of emotional validation to reassure myself that I'm not crazy. That I'm not...my feelings are not isolated. And I think that that type of approach of validation, talking to people that can validate the way that we're feeling or even listening. I mean, here on the podcast, like, you listen to people that have shared experiences, and that validates some of those tough things that you're going through. 

Ali  8:34  
And I experienced so many of the same things that you did JoDee. And validation is something that took me a long time to even find it wasn't until I met people like you who had also left teaching. And we got to talking about it, that I finally felt like, Oh, I'm not the only person who struggled through this identity loss of being a teacher, because that was so much of who I was. And my shift was abrupt. So all of the sudden, that was gone. And I was trying to put everything back together and figure out was I going to go back to teaching or was I going to move on to something else. And so I think the way that we process things, it's on an individual level, but having other people experiences to hear about, to listen to, to share with, it does help so much with that validation. And we hear that from you, our listeners, that hearing our guests and hearing from us helps you deal with these shifts that maybe you're considering or maybe... maybe even realizing that you don't want to make a shift, which is also okay. And you should feel good about too. So I really know that that term validation, it digs deep for me. And you know, there's ways that we can seek emotional validation. It's from people in our community, people that care about us, but I think you really need to be cautious about who you're seeking validation from. Because you know, in the schoolhouse, it's really hard because we're all in the same on the same ship, right? And so if you're the only one looking to make a shift that might not be the right place, because you might be the only one looking to get off at the next step. But looking for validation in other places, and also remembering that we're unique individuals, and our needs are different from the needs of the majority and from other people. So I talk a lot about my experience on the show about being a military spouse. There weren't a lot of people who really understood my situation and why I needed to make a shift partially because of that role that I have as a military spouse and military family. So I had to look for people and individuals that I could reach out to, to give me that level of validation, that understanding, while also looking for people in the professional world who could help me understand my career skills, and that I was still valuable. And I still had, you know, gifts and talents that I could give to other fields. So, you know, for me, it's just kind of a more general advice that I would say, you know, look for validation, not just in the place that you're used to getting it, but maybe outside of that location. What about you, JoDee?

JoDee  11:12  
So Ryan Pelkey, in one of our episodes, he kind of helped us understand some of the taboo topics in schools, and shifts would be one of those things. And so I didn't seek any counsel from anyone within my building. Now, people tried to counsel me after I made my announcement. But I didn't seek counsel because I didn't think that anybody would understand. No one had ever come to me and sought counsel for such a thing. So like, the idea that it was something you did in the workplace didn't even exist in my mind, that it was an option. I also like in the workplace, I didn't want it to be leaked, I guess to other people, or to families, because your decision, especially when you're talking about teaching students, siblings, or you have relationships with families in the building, like, you don't want something that's sensitive to come to them abruptly. And so I did seek counsel from my inner circle. And luckily, you know, I think everybody shapes their inner circle pretty tightly. My inner circle contains people that are positive. They can emotionally validate what I'm feeling. I certainly didn't seek counsel from someone that I thought would not validate or push me down. Like I just don't have those type of relationships in my inner circle. So people that I knew that would uplift me, that could make me feel my self worth when I couldn't even acknowledge it or feel it. And that topic in itself is something that I have an ongoing struggle with is accepting who I am. So it's not something that just like went away as I left the classroom. But I know that around, you know, 2016 when I was getting that little itch, like podcasting wasn't even or listening to a podcast, like that wasn't even like a thing. I don't even know if I really even knew what a podcast was till many years later. So the fact that we've kind of utilized our teacher brain skills to bring these type of topics to the airwaves that others can listen to makes me feel good, because I think I would have listened to something similar had I known it was an option. And not gone into a place where people or those around me were bruising my emotions. Like I just, I wanted positive, constructive routes for expressing the way I was feeling.

Ali  13:57  
Well, and it's really hard to navigate your feelings when you're in the thick of things. So when you're going through an emotionally difficult time, for example, that was kind of what was happening for me when I decided to leave teaching. We had a health scare for our youngest child, and it made us reevaluate our, basically our whole lives, our whole situation, because I was really unavailable. I had to go back to the classroom that week. And so I think, you know, taking a step back, maybe when something big like that happens to you. It may not be a one event, like in my case. Maybe what JoDee experienced which is like, slowly kind of getting at your emotions and making you feel unwell. But addressing that and navigating those emotions and feelings are so key. And making sure that you have people to support you, both personally but also professionally. That's one of the topics that we are going to expand upon is mental health and well being because we know that that factors into part of why teachers are choosing to make a shift is because they're not well, and they don't have the resources. And so, as an educator, try to look for those resources and find them, because likely you're going to need them. You're going to need those types of support when you're in the thick of those emotions, and you're trying to navigate things.

JoDee  15:24  
Also, just, when you're in the thick of those feelings, sometimes you're in the thick of teaching. You're in the middle of a school year. And that can be a real challenge, because as any teacher will tell you, it's not just a demand of goals you have to meet. It's physically and mentally demanding. And so you go through your day, and you can't unpack your feelings. You can't navigate the way you want to in the thick of teaching. You can't consult with the people you spend all day with, which is students. Like you can't consult with them about it. And you barely see your colleagues. And so when at the end of the day, when you're trying to navigate your feelings, your body might be tired. Your mind might be tired. And you might not have the energy, to even go deep into the way that you're feeling because you are tired. And that's why we have to find the right people to have those conversations with because you don't have to unload everything. It can just be like little tiny bits and pieces. And I see that with many former teachers, and teachers that are still in the profession right now is they'll give me like a little seed of something that they're feeling, that they're just not ready to unpack, but they just, they plant that little seed, and then later on they'll they'll unpack that little seed a little bit. And then eventually they get to a point of really unpacking and talking with me about where they are and what, what should they do. Because really like, unloading all at one time sometimes isn't even an option. Because we're just go, go go.

Ali  17:08  
Yes. And you may not be that person unpacking that seed, if you're listening right now. You may be on the receiving end of hearing about someone plant that seed and starting to unpack it. And so being that person is just as important as being the person who's sharing, because you can help validate someone's feelings and make them feel like they're not alone. Like it's okay to have those feelings. And the feelings that you were describing JoDee of teaching, when you're going through this, these big feelings in this big emotional change, I mean that, that is like not only potentially burnout, but it's also just trying to deal with something in a profession, that's extremely demanding. When something big is going on in your personal life and you're a teacher, you don't just get to have an easy day at the office and just be at your desk by yourself and process some of that and maybe do extra work the day after. No, you are on 100%. You're the producer, you're the director, you're the choreographer of your classroom, you're in charge of everything. So you don't get to

JoDee  18:14  
That's so true.

Ali  18:15  
You don't get to have a little bit of a break. And honestly, it was super hard for me when I was going through emotional things in the classroom just in my personal life, let alone maybe thinking about making a shift. So I think you really touched on some amazing points there. And how do we exercise these things? How do we put them into practice?

JoDee  18:36  
Yeah, I think that teachers get trained on behavior management and how to interact with students. And we, we try to adopt social and emotional learning practices. And when I think about all the things that I did as a teacher, when a student came in crisis, or was feeling a certain way, or was struggling with something, the first thing you do is you validate the way that they're feeling. Because what you don't want them to do is to feel less than, to not feel heard. And so sometimes as teachers, we forget to exercise those type of practices on ourselves. So when Ashley Bell was talking about impostor syndrome, and she was unpacking how, you know, those were things that she would counsel students on and she was reflecting on herself and how she needed to counsel herself on some of those things. And that's where I think that that time and dedication to yourself has to come into play. Where you start to practice the things that you're preaching. Where you start to make time for yourself to have the hard conversations and to unpack the difficult things. Because as you're talking through it, you may realize the type of shift you need. It might not be out of the classroom. It might be a shift to another school. It might be a shift in mindset where you think, you know what I have to let go of being good at everything, to being dedicating my weekends to planning. You might just need a slight shift that is different from the others around you. And when you can unpack the way that you're feeling, it can lead you closer to what that shift needs to be. And I will say, it doesn't mean that the shift is over. 

Ali  20:37  
And I think another theme that we've encountered in our interviews with guests is that shifts in and out of teaching are also really common. And that might be something that you encounter as well. I know that I left the classroom and came back and then left the classroom. So sometimes that happens, where you decide to try something else. Maybe it doesn't work for you, for whatever reason, and then you can go back to the classroom. And we know, especially in the climate right now, that is a viable option. There are lots of teacher openings right now. And so if you, if you want to make a shift, it's not like maybe it was 30 years ago, where if you leave, it might be super hard to get back in. There are still a lot of openings that need to be filled. And so taking that chance on yourself and trusting that you're making the right decision at the moment for yourself. And that's okay. And you may look back and think, Oh, I wish I wouldn't have made that decision. But guess what, at the moment, if you can unpack how you're feeling, and think things through, and have a community to support you, you make a shift. And maybe it's the perfect shift. And maybe like me and JoDee, you're just still constantly thinking about what your next shift is going to be.

JoDee  21:53  
And as you say Ali, like the doors always open. There are so many vacancies, teacher vacancies right now it's unreal. Some states are experiencing all time highs of vacancies. And so, you know, we got an email the other day from one of our former guests that they made a shift back into the classroom because there was a vacancy. And it was, it was the right choice. It was not something that they were looking for, just like this was the right choice, because this opportunity came available. So keeping an open mind about that.

Ali  22:25  
Definitely and knowing really, that that door is always open, and that you have people that will support you. We're here for you. We want to hear your stories, we want to share them with our community at large. So we're just so glad to be back in action with our new brand, Teacher Shift. And we're excited about everything that's to come.

Are you interested in suggesting a topic for Teacher Shift? Being a guest or recommending a guest? Please see the episodes page on our website to make a submission. And if you'd like to write for us, see our blog page. If you liked teacher shift, give us a five star rating and follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Apple podcasts, Spotify and Amazon Music. Today's episode was written and recorded by me, Ali Simon and my co host, JoDee Scissors. Executive produced by Teacher Shift. Produced and edited by Emily Porter. Original Music: Emoji by Tubebackr.