Teacher Shift

Giving Yourself Permission to Leave

April 05, 2023 Kristen Keiser Episode 53
Teacher Shift
Giving Yourself Permission to Leave
Show Notes Transcript

This week, Ali and JoDee are talking with Kristin Keiser, a former teacher of 12 years, current program coach, and owner of the vintage design company, Three Dog Design and Finds. Together, they’ll discuss how Kristin’s background in theatre prepared her for all of her career options, how she relates to Gen Z and quiet quitting, and why giving yourself permission to make a change is okay.

Connect with Kristin:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/threedogdesignandfinds/



Connect with Ali and JoDee:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teachershift
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/teachershift
Teacher Shift LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/teacher-shift
Ali’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alisimon/
JoDee’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodeescissors/

Website
https://www.teachershiftpodcast.com/

Episode Transcriptions
https://www.teachershiftpodcast.com/blog

Ali  0:05  
Teachers are natural innovators, entertainers and problem solvers. They dream of growing old into the profession, teaching their kids kids. But sometimes career goals shift or change, and that makes opportunities outside of the classroom seem intangible questioning who am I, if I'm not a teacher? I'm your host, Alexandra Simon.

JoDee  0:31  
And I'm your co host, JoDee Scissors.

Ali  0:34  
This is The Great Teacher Resignation.

Today, our guest is Kristin Keiser. Kristin is a former teacher of 12 years, current program coach, and owner of the vintage design company, Three Dog Design and Finds. Welcome to the show today.

Kristin  0:56  
Hi, thank you so much for having me.

Ali  0:58  
Well, thank you for joining us. I've checked out your LinkedIn profile, and I saw that you have a theater background. So as a former thespian myself, I know that my theater experience was paramount in making me a successful educator and also in the role that I have now in project management. And I wholeheartedly believe that your background in theatre, which in the beginning led you to writing, editing and acting, prepared you for all of the career options that you've taken so far.

Kristin  1:24  
Well, it really did. Because, you know, the 12 years that I taught, I was an English teacher for high school. And the reason people engage with theater is really just because of stories and storytelling. And so it was a natural extension of that love of storytelling that I had just to bring it to a different environment. And you know, it's funny, I left, but that's probably the thing I miss most about teaching is that performative aspect, and just being immersed all day, you know, in stories. But alas, we all know, that's not what teaching is for eight hours a day,

JoDee  1:59  
I think one of my most, I guess, memorable teaching moments, and my students might even say the same thing, was when I integrated theater into teaching writing. You know, I would, I would like write a sentence, and then I would say, Okay, now let me act that out. Was it theatrical enough? Do you really get a sense of it? And then we would rewrite it. And then we would act it out. And they would be like... You know, and then they go rewrite what they were writing. And I just loved doing theater when I was teaching, in any aspect of whatever subject I was doing.

Kristin  2:29  
What I loved is, you know, obviously, I taught drama for a couple years. And then I brought it into my English classroom. But the thing I loved most about it were the kids who may have struggled with the kind of like traditional academic things, vocabulary, grammar, writing, who would thrive when we did performative aspects with the literature. I mean, I had this one kid, he was just, he was such a nice kid, like he struggled a little bit. But then when we did like the modern retelling of Macbeth, he got up there. And it was one of those things the whole class was like, Oh! It was just like, what? Yeah, so those, those moments like I live for those moments. It was great.

Ali  3:10  
So we're really interested in hearing more about your story, because you've moved through different professional careers. So can you tell us what that's been like for you?

Kristin  3:20  
So I have three degrees. I have two bachelor's degrees; one in English and Political Science, one in theater. And then my master's is in English and Education. So it's kind of allowed me... I love school, I still love school. But so when I graduated with my first bachelor's, I was a writer and editor for an online publication. And for me, sitting at a desk for eight hours a day, was terrible. Like, you know, even at you know 22 I knew that wasn't what I wanted to do with my whole life. And that's when I actually went back and got my theater degree. And I acted. I did a ton of theater, I almost moved to LA and worked as a PA, a production assistant, on a show. But then, you know, it was, you know, timing is everything. Because I was in my late 20s. At that point, I really wanted to have a family, I really wanted to have a baby and the to work not very compatible, because it was a show with the Travel Channel, which, on paper sounds great. But you're traveling everywhere. And it's hard to have a family with that environment. So I made the decision to turn down the job. And then I focused on, you know, I had my son then I had my second son. And you know, I had one of those moments. It was one of those... It's funny, I was listening to one of your past episodes. Like the recurring theme that came up were moments, and just these like moments of clarity. And I remember, my kids were little I mean, my my son now is 18 and my older son's 18 about to go to college. My younger son is 15. But they were 1 and 3 at that point. And I was in my kitchen and it just kind of hit me I was like I think I want to be a teacher. Like I mean for all the reasons I just talked about with you, being immersed in storytelling, and making a difference. And Truly, even though I've left, I never felt like my job didn't make a difference. I never had that, why am I here spinning my wheels? Not once. Not one day did I have that. So I went back and got my masters and became certified to teach. And that's kind of where it was for 12 years. Taught. I ended up being the department chair of my department. And then I just decided that there was probably a different path that I needed to be on at that point.

Ali  5:29  
And I think you're exactly right. The time that you spent in the classroom, you made a difference. And I love hearing that you, you know that. You know that it was.. that was valuable. You, you appreciate that. I think all teachers we do. We think about those years. We remember those students. Their lives touched us. It's not just like we touch their lives. But I think about those students, and oh, it's just amazing to be able to like find them sometimes on social media.

Kristin  5:54  
It does feel like a win when you see a kid grow up, and then really do and, you know, I taught seniors for years, and that they were my favorite age group to teach, because they were right on that precipice of adulthood. And they would come to me and we would just talk. We would talk about, you know, life because it's English. And you can do that, you know, so many members had, like, how do people have it all together, and I'm like, It's a lie. We don't have it all together. Like adults are just basically muddling through like the rest of you, we're just older. Like that felt really valuable to me, too. I love the connection with kids. And frankly, I'm a different person, the district I was in, really had a lens of equity, and teaching through a lens of equity. So I am a far better person. And my viewpoints have completely shifted. It's huge for me personally, and that, even though I'm not there anymore, like that's a permanent imprint on who I am.

JoDee  6:50  
I think that's one of the biggest takeaways that teachers have is the impression that their student population made on them and how it helped shape them and, and expand their lens, about the world and other people. But I want to go back to something that you said pretty early on, which was like sitting at a desk. This was something I really struggled with when I was thinking about transitioning, because my idea of the rest of the world and other careers was like a desk and a computer. And so like that literally, just like a wave of depression was just like going over me thinking about sitting in front of something. And I was very mobile. I was always like, on the floor with my students. I was at recess sometimes. I was on field day running with them. I was super active during the day. And I really had a hard time sitting like when I would do guided reading. I was like, Okay, I gotta get up, like I need to move around. And so when I transitioned, that first week, I was at a desk and I was still having this like wave of like, I am too stagnant. I need to do something. I need to go for a walk. And then as the weeks went on, I figured out what I was doing was creative. And I ended up getting a standing desk and I would take my walks. But the work I was doing was very creative. I'm a maker. I create things. I produce things. And I realized it wasn't necessarily the movement all day that was keeping me going. It was actually the work that I felt inspired to do, and to keep doing. And so now like working from home, I'm sitting in front of my desk all day, standing or whatever, pacing while I'm talking on the phone, and I'm getting that activity that I was so scared to leave behind.

Kristin  8:42  
Well, and for me, it's fine. I'm looking at my standing desk right now and my bike peddler and all the things that I do to be active. But the flip side to teaching for me is, you know, coming back to this idea of moments. I had a moment I was getting ready to for work. And I would usually be at work around 6:15 in the morning just to get everything done. And that was challenging. It was part of the reason I decided to leave. I had no energy at all to do the physical things I love, like walking, yoga, weightlifting. Like by the time I got home from school, I would just collapse into a heap on the couch. Because I was so spent physically. So sure I wasn't sitting at a desk all day. But there was no space in my life, to do the things that physically that I valued for my mental health and my physical health. That was a big wake up call for me. When I decided hey, maybe this isn't the life for you anymore. It's okay to try something new again. And I think because I had multiple careers. I know people can start over. There's a thing that happens with teaching and I think it's, you know, if you read like the forums and you know, online social media, there's this mindset with teaching, that you're in it for 30 or 35 years. And I challenge most people to stay in a job for 30 or 35 years. It just doesn't really happen that much in 2023. So there's that. And it is okay to give yourself permission to figure out a different path. And listen, I fully will embrace the privilege that I have. I have a spouse, and he has a job that keeps a roof over our head while I could take this time. That's not a luxury that everybody has. I recognize that. So that's a huge component to my story. But also knowing that having done the change before, didn't make it quite so scary. Even though it there was a lot more emotionally wrapped up into the choice of me leaving. Like when I left editing, I don't think I had a career crisis and kind of a personal crisis. I just took another job. When I decided to leave teaching, it felt like a personal failure to me on some level.

JoDee  10:59  
Can you elaborate a little bit more on that? Because one of the last years that I taught I mentored a teacher that was coming from a different career, what were those like revelations you had going from career to career to career?

Kristin  11:12  
I would say my big revelations, this. It's my approach, kind of in midlife to work overall. And where does work fall into my life? I almost feel like I'm part of Gen Z, because I'm like, yeah, quiet quitting. Good for you. I get it. I get it. Because quitting, quitting isn't quite quitting. It's just setting appropriate boundaries.

Ali  11:35  
Doing your job within the scope of what your, your job duties are not doing all the other things.

Kristin  11:41  
Right. I mean, don't get me started on the fact that teaching is a pink collar career built on the backs of women who were expected to go above and beyond and work more than the contracted hours, which also makes me absolutely enraged. When I you know, see people like you get summers off, you work 35 hours a week. There wasn't a week that I worked 35 hours a week. I don't know any teacher who did. You know, I know, lots of teachers and some set different boundaries and approach things differently, because we're all unique individuals. But truly, truly, truly, I don't know of any who stuck to contracted hours. And my first job was great for a lot of reasons. I actually met my husband at my first job. So winning, that was positive. I worked with great people. I just didn't like the work I was doing. And so then I went to another job that I ended up getting laid off from. And I again, it's like, I liked all the things surrounding the job, the people, the freedom, the creativity, but the job itself wasn't really for me. Acting I loved and being involved with theater I loved, but I'm going to be honest, at that point, like, I also like getting a paycheck. And you know, it's not an either or, but life doesn't always happen on the timeline that we want it to happen on. And so I think I was just five years too late to that to really giving it what I could have given it. And I think teachers are really not great at forgiving themselves. I think most teachers that I know, are, I wouldn't say perfectionistic, but hold themselves to a very high standard. And in a system that is as flawed as education. And then with this match of teachers kind of holding themselves to that standard. That mismatch I think, for me was like my moment when I realized I am doing everything I can. I am giving so much more to this area of my life then I'm giving to my family and to my children. And it's still not enough. It's not enough. I can't be a therapist. I can't be a social worker. I can't be a teacher. I can't be a mentor. Just the demands, I just needed to step back. And again, it was like, back to this idea of moments. I know there's the like the narrative of the teacher crying in the car, mine, I guess happened in my closet. But I'm like staring at my clothes that you're like, What am I doing with my life? But it was more like a series of little moments. I would love to say like it hit me out of the (Boom), you know, but it didn't work like that. For years, I thought maybe they're like I would try something else. But things were okay. They were good enough. And my husband very wisely said to me at some point they won't be good enough for you. And you'll know that your friends aren't enough to keep you there. And you know, this isn't enough and that isn't enough. And he was right. And I think COVID really, just coming back from COVID, just crystallized for me that we only get so many trips around the sun. And if I wanted to make a change, no one was going to knock on my door make it for me.

JoDee  14:43  
Well, you're a really good storyteller because I'm having a physical reaction to the way that you're describing those feelings and those aha moments and that itch because I've completely been through all of that. And it is such a physical experience. Even when you're so laboris in the role that you're doing as a teacher, that emotional toll.

Kristin  15:06  
Well, it's visceral. I mean, and the thing is, it's going to come out somewhere. And for me, I started having panic attacks. I just, and that was kind of new for me. And I realized, you know, I was working in conjunction with a therapist, again. I'm a big believer in mental health as being as important as physical health. And my therapist and I were talking and I just said, like, I can't do this anymore. She's like, I understand. You know, like, you don't have to do this. And so I don't say she gave me permission, but she gave me perspective. And that perspective is what I thought I was losing. I was getting this kind of tunnel vision that I realized that once I kind of got out of that tunnel, that it wouldn't be easy, but I would figure out where to go. I would figure it out. I would land okay.

Ali  15:50  
I think we have this mentality that like, everything has to be perfect at work. You have to love the job. You have to love your coworkers. You have to be happy with your hours and your schedule. But kind of like you were saying with Generation Z, like, I'm okay with work not being my whole life. But that was so hard for me to let go of because when I was a teacher, work really was my whole life. You know, I woke up and I was thinking about work. I got to school and I was working all day. I left the school house and I was thinking about work again. Even in the summer, we had a whole episode about summers off, like you're never really off the clock. But at the same time, America, United States we have this workaholic culture. Do teachers ever get put in that bucket of workaholics? Do people ever talk about teachers is workaholics? 

Kristin  16:40  
Well, teachers are workaholics.

Ali  16:42  
We are but no one ever says that we are because it's like seen as something different.

Kristin  16:47  
You hit on a lot of things that I want to talk about. One, this idea of passion and passion for a job. This is, I think, a very American view about work and we need to be passionate about what we do. No. I think people need to do their jobs and do them well. And have that be... you know, life is you know, it's a pie. And that's a piece of the pie. But it can't be the whole pie. It can't be because work won't love you back. I mean, that's the name of a book. It will not love you back.

Ali  17:16  
But it took me so long to figure that out.

Kristin  17:20  
Well, because with teaching, it's not just a job, it's presented as a vocation. And when it's a vocation, it's a calling. And the calling is what allows teachers to give, give, give, give, give. And it's noble, don't get me wrong. I mean, there are teachers out there, giving it all. And I'm in awe of people who can do that, and still maintain a sense of, you know, balance in their lives. I am not that person. And when I realized that about myself, it was a disservice for me to stay. It was a disservice for me to stay leadership in the position that I was in. And it was a disservice for me to be in the classroom with that mindset. And I knew I could never do my job the level I wanted to do it, and have everything else functioning at the level that I want to do it. And just an example. So my son's going to college this year, in a couple of months. And he's a wrestler. And I never volunteered for anything for my kids. My husband and my mom did it all because I was just wrecked. And so I signed up to work his tournament, the whole day. And he said, Is that too much for you? And I said, No. Why would it be too much for me? And he said, because when you were teaching your weekends were just your recovery to be able to go back on Monday. This is an 18 year old who sees it. 

JoDee  18:45  
They're watching your kids are watching you. 

Kristin  18:48  
They're watching. And for me, it hit, like that hit. It did. He was right. He was 100%. Right. And he wasn't saying out of a place of anger. I mean, that's not what it was. It was a place of observation. And I said to him, You are right and that'sa] part of the reason why I left. And I'm really glad we had this chunk of time, where I can do that for you before you leave. And that's the balance piece. That's the balance.

Ali  19:14  
Well, it's just not sustainable. And that's the problem like, the system is setting up failure. Whether it's failure of like the teachers not being able to keep doing all the things that you're asking of them, being able to provide the services to the students. And truthfully, it's unsustainable. And it just starts... It starts from the beginning. Because what all of us could have done pre-children is a lot different. And because it is a pink collar career, we know the majority of teachers are women. A lot of them do have families, not all of them, but a lot of them.

Kristin  19:45  
Yeah, and I never did it without children. My children were very small. But my husband was a full time professor at that point. So I think the only way I was able to do it was because he had kind of a more flexible schedule and was able to do a lot of the child care pieces. If I had had a spouse who had a more nine to five job. I mean, we would have made it. But we didn't want to be at a point like this point in my life where everything needs to be so hard. That's what it was.

Ali  20:21  
It was so hard. And I was thinking about that when you said, you got to school at 615, because I knew you had children. I'm like, how are you getting to school so early? Because daycare doesn't open that early.

Kristin  20:31  
Right. And again, that's my husband, like they had a daycare on site where he taught. So he was able to take them and take them to school. And even with those really good scheduling things that worked out for us, I was still working on the weekends. And being a new teacher and having kids, whew! That was something else. That was something else. But you know, that had obviously subsided after the first couple of years. And I think it's okay for people to realize what worked five years ago, what worked 10 years ago, might not work right now and that's okay.

Ali  21:07  
We all go through different seasons. And the timing worked out well for me when I transitioned out. My husband is in an extremely demanding job right now. And I would not be able to support him in the way that I am if I was still teaching and unable to do a lot of the things that you described, you know, that your spouse did when you were teaching.

JoDee  21:25  
So many parallels between your story and my story. And I think a lot of people's stories. 

Kristin  21:31  
It's a universal story. On some level, I mean, the elements, my story will mirror everyone's story. But there, there are glimpses and echoes that I think just reverberate with a lot of people. 

JoDee  21:43  
And Ali and I always talk about how the weight of the teaching profession should not be on the young people either. And that's where a lot of the young teachers get taken advantage of. They say, Oh, they're new, they'll they'll do this, they'll do this, let's keep piling it on. But that is not how you retain teachers. And so even the incoming new teachers, it's going to have to be approached differently. And they're going to have to teach them how to set boundaries, and they're going to teach them how to live a sustainable teacher life. Because the expectation right now is like, Oh, they're young, they can do it.

Ali  22:18  
But then that's all that they know. And then they try to keep going at that same pace. I had a really good friend of mine, who was just a fantastic middle school science teacher. I saw all the things she would do at home. And when she got married and started a family, she could not do... I mean, she kept detailed records of how her students did on every single assignment, because she wanted to go back and reteach the things. And she was like, I just can't do that anymore now that I have a family. So I can't be a teacher anymore. And I was like, Um, No. Like 50% of what you gave, is still more than what most people were giving. She was just so above and beyond. And so I think we put that pressure on ourselves.

Kristin  22:57  
Well, I think there's 2 things at play here. There's issue 1, am I still effective at my job? And then issue two2, do I still want to be doing this job? There's intersectionality between the two. But I was still an effective teacher, I was a good teacher. Up until the day I decided not to be. I was always growing and learning, I knew I could always improve, but I was solid. It doesn't mean I want to do it for five more years, or even one more year at that point. So there's also this weird idea of leaving a job. And frankly, I taught in a well paying district, the money was not the issue for me. I know what so many teachers are so underpaid. But for those of us who work in urban areas, a lot of the time our salary is a little bit higher. It wasn't the money. It was truly truly truly for me, it was just the conditions that teaching put upon my entire life. I'll own that, too. I own that as like a function of my personality. I can't point to the entire education system and say it was all you. It wasn't. I mean, it was what I brought to the table within that system, and what I was willing to accept within that system, and what I was willing to walk away from as well.

Ali  24:12  
And what I really hear throughout your story is that you got to a point where you gave yourself permission to leave teaching. And you had people along the way that were listening to you, that were there for you, that were offering you counsel. Whether it was your spouse, whether it was your therapist, whether it was probably other friends and family that were there along the way, because that's the hardest part is kind of saying it's okay to do this. It's really hard I think to get to that point. Some people like myself, you have this big thing that happens and you just have to make a choice. Like your story and Jodee's story. It was like, slowly, slowly Okay, it's time. I'm going to make this transition. And I want to touch on one last thing, you know, transitioning into your current job. I also work in the project management space, and I find myself using my teacher brain skills daily. So I want to know how you approach your program coach role?

Kristin  25:10  
So the other thing I had to wrap my head around was, you know, going from this go go go mentality with teaching, and I left. And then I took a part time role. And so I was doing contract work with an educational startup, which allowed me to be really creative. I really liked it, because it's curriculum development. But it was just honestly, it was weird. It's just weird, not working at the level that I have been used to, for, you know, really my whole life. But I mean, really, with teaching a decade plus. And I do, I still do contract work for them. And so using my teacher brain, on the curricular side of that is great. I really do enjoy that. And then I recently have started with my new company. I'm still in the middle of onboarding. It's also part time. So I would love to be able to tell you more, but I'm still in that onboarding process. But it's funny, because even I'm like, oh, onboarding, I forgot that was a thing. Because you know, with teaching, it's like, good luck. Here's a book. Hope you do well, which is a whole other story about like, how we don't mentor teachers. The system is not set up to mentor teachers, well and deeply. And because we're all just, you know, trying to make it through. So this has been like a total shift. I'm like, oh, there's like Google Slides, and meetings, and PowerPoints, and all of that. So, you know, for me, what it boiled down to is I still needed a job where I felt like I was making a difference in the world for me. Like, what does that look like? And for me, working with a company that focuses on literacy, that's huge. I mean, that's huge. That's right in my wheelhouse. Again, it's what I believe in. I saw the struggles of kids who struggled with reading, and the upper grades if we can do something to support them in the lower grades to give them this advantage. What a gift. So I feel like it aligns with my value system and my skill set. You know, for people who are thinking about leaving, work your network. And that's how I got this. I got it from a friend who also phased out of the classroom and then added administration into this role. And she has a senior role in this company. And it's just not the business of giving advice, but I will tell my story. I told pretty much anyone that would listen to me like, Hey, I left teaching. Tell me about your work. What do you do? What do you love? I basically was interviewing everyone I came in contact with. Tell me what you liked about your work? Tell me what a typical day is? Tell me what you don't like? What are your weekends like? What are your evenings like? And so I kind of wanted to get a feel before jumping into another frying pan. That's not what I wanted to do. So I took time. And it was hard. I did a lot of work. I did a lot of soul searching. I certainly don't want to make it seem like I have all the answers. I don't. I do not. I don't have the answers for myself. I certainly don't have the answers for anyone else. And it was really hard. There were days where I would just, you know, break down into tears like, what am I doing? But I still knew like that seed planted within me that I was still making the right choice, even though it wasn't always the easy choice.

JoDee  28:21  
Kristin, I think we're kindred spirits. But Ali, what I'm hearing is that her greatest teacher brain skill might just be the fact that she asked questions. And she is not afraid to be curious. And listen to all the answers that are out there to be able to discover what she wants next.

Ali  28:38  
Yeah, and she can synthesize the information and she can break it down into what's the most important part for you in your next career. And I think that's, that's so important. When you're leaving something that, you know, we call a vocation, that you've maybe felt called to do. You need to explore what options are best for you. So I'm really grateful that you came on the show today, Kristin, and you shared with our listeners your wonderful story. You are a fantastic storyteller. I want to let you know that if you want to connect with Kristin and take a look into her vintage design company. You can find her on Instagram at Three Dog Design and Finds. It'll be in the show notes.

If you liked the great teacher resignation, give us a five star rating and follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Apple Podcast, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music and Audible. Today's episode was written and recorded by me Alexandra Simon, and my co host JoDee Scissors. Executive produced by Teacher Brain. Produced and edited by Emily Porter. Original Music: Emoji by Tubebackr. Special thanks to our sponsor, Paper Planes Ed.